I’ve used many crazy excuses to get out of speeding tickets in my day. I even have a list of my top-five go-to excuses:

[Note: They all begin with, “I’m sorry, officer, but…”]

• I’m on my way to visit my [insert random relative] in the hospital and was just nervous.
• I just really have to use the bathroom. (For added effect, unbutton your pants and lift up your shirt just enough to expose your belly.)
• I’m lost, don’t know the neighborhood really well, so I was scared and wanted to get to the nearest main street. I didn’t really know I was speeding.
• I’m just really wasted and want to get home as soon as possible.
• My dog ate it.

I may have mixed up a couple of those, but you get my point. However, after reading what happened to Sunderland (that’s an English soccer team) midfielder Grant Leadbitter, I may have to add another one to my arsenal.

He was driving home after a night out and decided to accelerate his car to 112 mph when a police car got behind him. He was eventually pulled over and was given a citation. In court, though, was when he whipped out his beauty of an excuse – he thought the police car following him was a car full of Newcastle United fans that were going to beat him up. Classic!

So the next time I get pulled over for speeding, I’ll be sure to say, “I’m sorry officer, but I thought your car with flashing blue and red lights was a car filled with the editorial staff of a rival website that was going to beat me up.”

How did Leadbitter’s excuse fare? He was fined a mere $850 and restricted from driving for two weeks. But that was in England. I’m sure American police will handle the situation better.

 
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