On Monday night, a jersey the size of Rhode Island donning the No. 33 was raised to the rafters in American Airlines Arena to honor not only a great basketball player, but a pillar of the Dade County community and a positive influence on people of all ages. Alonzo Mourning watched teary-eyed as his jersey became a permanent fixture of Triple A – a touching moment indeed. Ok, enough sentimental crap, let’s get down to brass tacks.

All you need to know about Alonzo in 19 words: A center that had a kidney transplant then came back to win his first NBA Championship in 2006. Meow.

He has this and you don’t (unless you’re Kevin Garnett or Michael Jordan): NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award.

Good things that Zo has done that will make you feel bad about yourself: Mourning established Alonzo Mourning Charities Inc. to aid the development of children and families living in at-risk situations and provides support and services that enhance the lives of youth and promise. He co-founded Athletes for Hope which helps professional athletes get involved in charitable causes. He also launched Zo’s Fund for Life which seeks to raise funds for research, education and testing to fight focal segmental glomerulosclerosis – which he has been diagnosed with. Feeling shitty and worthless now? I am.

His BFF is cooler than your BFF: One of the best centers to ever play the game of basketball, Patrick Ewing.

There are 14 letters in his name, and the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution was first intended to secure the rights of former slaves. Coincidence? I think not. Relevance? None whatsoever.

Alonzo Mourning has been an inspiration to a lot of people over the years and has touched many lives in his long career. It was appropriate and fitting that his jersey was the first to be retired in the Miami Heat organization. Congratulations, Zo.