When Jason Garcia did the MLB All-Ugly team last year, I have to say I was pretty impressed. For whatever reason, you don't tend to think of baseball players as especially ugly. Maybe it's because they're out in the sun all the time, but your Jorge Cantu's of the world seem like the exception when it comes to natural fugliness, not the rule.

The same can't be said of the NHL. The National Hockey League is structured in such a way that its most successful players invariably get uglier and uglier as time goes on with the broken noses and missing teeth that are such a big part of the game. This team represents my attempt to separate the wheat from the chaff in terms of pure physical repulsiveness.

First Line:

Olli Jokinen - C
Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer claims he found a pigman at the hospital? That was no pigman, that was one Olli Jokinen.

Tyler Kennedy - RW
Fun fact: they didn't actually let Tyler Kennedy skate around with the Stanley Cup after the Penguins won it, because they were afraid that it was going to rust and crumble to dust from his ambient fug. Apparently he still gets chicks though.

Alex Ovechkin - LW
When you're as talented as Alexander Ovechkin, you don't have to be attractive. And really, if anybody can make the lumpy and gap-toothed look work, it's Ovie.

Second Line

Rod Brind'Amour - C
Mickey Rourke based his character's look in The Wrestler on the weather-beaten and leathery countenance of the great Roddy Brind'Amour. True story.

Corey Perry - RW
If the evil eastern european guy from Die Hard 4 impregnated a gorilla, I'm pretty sure the resulting progeny would look exactly like Corey Perry.

Michal Handzus - LW
I don't think that Michal Handzus' hometown of Banska Bystrica, Czechslovakia is that close to Chernobyl, but looking at him, it really makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Third Line

Kris Draper - C
Draper is famous in Detroit for being part of the so-called "Grind Line." That refers less to their ability to grind down opposing offensive units and more the fact that Draper's face looks sand-blasted. Also, he looks like Hell Boy.

George Parros - RW
OK, George Parros really isn't actually that ugly. His Burt Reynolds stache on the other hand, is singularly atrocious, and I'd be remiss if I didn't at least acknowledge it.

Phil Kessel - LW
Admit it, if Phil Kessel tried to flag your car down on a dark and lonely road, there is no freaking way you would stop.

First Defensive Unit

Andrei Markov - D
If Igor from Young Frankenstein had a gay love child with some sort of troll, it might look a little like the Canadiens' Andrei Markov.

Robyn Regher- D
In addition to being one of the more solid defensemen in the NW conference, Robyn Regher sometimes moonlights as a Gollum impersonator at children's parties. It's more a hobby than a job though.

Second Defensive Unit

Brent Sopel - D
Jesus Christ? What the hell is this thing?

 Mike Ricci - D
OK, I cheated. Mike Ricci is neither a defenseman, nor is he even an active player in the NHL, having retired in 2007. But come on, look at the guy!

Goalie

Pascal Leclaire - G
It was quite the coup when the Senators managed to wrangle young Pascal Leclaire from the Columbus Blue Jackets in a late-season trade. When he actually showed up at the rink in Ottawa, they turned him away as a hobo.

This list is by no means exclusive. If you've got an ugly mug that belongs on the squad, link an image in the comments!

Follow Chris Chester on Twitter: http://twitter.com/chrisbchester

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